Looking back on it, 2002 was quite a silly year, and our busiest yet. It seemed like everywhere we turned, something unfathomably stupid was happening, at an ever-quickening pace. Expect some kind of stupidity explosion any day now!

Here's a look at the morons who shaped our lives this year. I've gone back through our stories from this year and looked for an outstanding moron for each month of the year to bring you the twelve morons of Christmas:

  • Lou Sheldon, who got his panties in a knot that his ultra-right-wing organization of religious fanatics was being compared to another ultra-right-wing organization of religious fanatics.
  • John Ashcroft, who kept opening his mouth, even though past experiences had not given complimentary results.
  • Chante Mallard, a lesser-known moron, who hit a homeless man with her car and then left him to bleed to death in her garage.
  • George W. Bush, asshat unlimited, who keeps reminding us to be UNDER GOD and pray while he finds ways to circumvent the First Amendment to give government funding to churches.
  • Cardinal Bernard Law, formerly head of the Archdiocese of Boston, reminds us that 6-year olds wanted it, and spent much of the year trying to calm the priest child molestation storm.
  • Rev. Jerry Vines, helping US/Islamic relations along by declaring that Mohammed was a "demon-possessed pedophile".
  • Randy Sharp of the American "Family" Association and caveman extraordinaire provided dimwitted half-responses to morons.org reader questions.
  • Carmelo Torres, cartoonist for the right wing extremist group 'Culture and "Family" Institute' provided dimwitted cartoons featuring a new morons.org favorite, the pink gay shark.
  • Cynthia van Auken, formerly a candidate for one of Georgia's seats in Congress, suggested that employers ought to ask about prospective employees' sexual orientations as part of the hiring process.
  • Jerry Falwell helped US-Islamic relations along by calling Mohammed a terrorist.
  • Crazy Roy Moore, who rolled an unconstitutional endorsement of Judeo-Christian religion into his courthouse in the middle of the night was eventually smacked down by a higher power- a federal court.
  • Trent Lott, political retard, made some ill-fated comments at long-dead Strom Thurmond's birthday party that would eventually cost him leadership of the Senate. Lott went on to blame the media and his political enemies.

Have a safe and happy holiday. Don't drink and drive. And be glad you're not one of these bozos.

---Nick

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