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Morons in the News: Teacher Turns Students in to Big Brother

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Overheard in SF: Heard inbetween the rabbit squeezing and the carrot munching

Be careful what you say in class, kids; your teacher may be willing to call the Secret Service if he or she doesn't like what you have to say...
Posted by spatula on May. 13, 2003 09:01 UTC
46 comments from readers. Join the discussion!

Two students have been interrogated by the Secret Service after one of their teachers reported them for unamerican, unmutual behaviour. The instructor evidently thought that something the kids said was a threat against the President, but the news article sadly doesn't say what the remark was that instigated the whole mess.

What's more disturbing is that the kids were interrogated by the Secret Service without the advice of counsel or the presense of their parents. In fact, when one student asked if they could refuse to answer questions or have an attorney present, the agents supposedly said, "we own you, you don't have any legal rights."

Charming.

---Nick

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Posted by Pansy Bedwetter on May. 13, 2003 09:13

Welcom to the Facist States of America

Pansy Bedwetter: D'oh! I ment "Welcome".

Almeda: And fascist. ;)

Posted by BluJayLax on May. 13, 2003 09:19

Good God, they must be enemey combatants, lock them up forever.

I pray that their parents sue the teacher, the school district, AND the USSS (only three pairs of SS in that abbreviation).

Trample my rights and I'll unfrivously take you for sooo much money that I won't have to work for the rest of my life and can spend ALL my time making sure you don't screw any one elses life up.

Seig Heil!

Tookie Tookie

BJL

Not Pansy Bedwetter: "Sieg"

BluJayLax: Good 'ol Sieggie Heil. You would think with a German last name with "ei" in it...

Smeg: Horst Wessel Leib! ;-)

Posted by Kitsune from Its Heated Den With a T1 on May. 13, 2003 10:23

I have had the honor of personally being thrown off of my stage with my drumline by the Secret Service when I was a freshman in HS. You tend not to argue with the black suits and mirrorshades. As for the Secret Service overstepping their bounds, I'd point you to one Kevin Mitnick.

I hear Canada is nice this time of year...

spatula: Why was the Secret Service concerned with a freshman drumline?

Kitsune: It was the high school drumline, and I was a freshman on mallets at the time,...

Posted by splorpatworktakingabriefbreak on May. 13, 2003 11:07

"'When one of the students asked, "do we have to talk now? Can we be silent? Can we get legal council?" they were told, "we own you, you don't have any legal rights,"' Felson says."

Kinda scary...

splorp!

Evil Bastard

Posted by Fluffy on May. 13, 2003 12:39

""I tell you the looks on those childrens faces. I don't know if they'll say anything about anything ever again. Is that what we want? I don't think we want that," says Lopez."

Later, Lopez was contacted by the Department of Homeland Security and was informed that their position is that we do, indeed, want everyone to stop saying anything about anything.

Talking is scary and wrong, especially if you're talking about the President and what should, in a perfectly just world, happen to such persons. Thinking is also strongly discouraged. If you find yourself beginning to think or speak, you may find vigorously waving a flag will distract you sufficiently to salvage some part of your patriotism.

BluJayLax: You know what I am thinking? I am thinking George W. Bush is completely out of...

Reynard: Nah, he'll just have you rendered into useful "Strategic...

BluJayLax: I get to become soylent green??? KEWL! Tookie Tookie BJL

splorpatworktakingabriefbreak: Soylent fuel. splorp! Evil Bastard

Marduk: "Soylent Green: Now with MORE GIRLS!"(as seen on the Simpsons!)

Posted by Brute from New York, NY on May. 13, 2003 13:04

Apparently one of the students actually threated the president, stating 'We need a sniper to take care of Bush.' Read the article here.

Makes it seems a tad less ominous, doesn't it?

Sweetbrandy69: Doesn't make it less ominous for me. These are two high school kids. When I was...

Sweetbrandy69: or wait - let me change that. Welcome to the Christian American CAPITALIST...

Brute: Making jokes and actually threatening the president are two different things....

StruckingFuggle: "We need a sniper to take care of Bush" is not a threat. "I'm going to pay a...

StruckingFuggle: "a good idea (...), maybe (definitely), but still a threat"*

Kitsune: I don;t think Cheyney would survive the news, as I think that would probably be...

StruckingFuggle: No, I could see him sitting in a chair with a diabolic grin, rubbing his hands...

Brute: ""We need a sniper to take care of Bush" is not a threat. " I disagree. It's a...

Pansy Bedwetter: Was the teacher thinking that high school students posed a legitimate threat of...

BluJayLax: Oh, I'm sure she's a believer in Zero Intellegence....er... I mean Tollerance. ...

StruckingFuggle: So, why's it your judgement it's a threat? If I have an insect problem, and...

bowiegeek: Hate to chime in beating a dead horse but, "We need a sniper to take care of...

Tophat665: And from John Kerry, it would be a much more credible threat if it were a...

Kunzite: Does anyone else remember that sketch from the TV show "The State?"

Lazerface01: NO. If you think it's a problem, call their PARENTS. Not the fucking Secret...

BluJayLax: True, but this actually goes along with TOTAL FUCKING COMLETE LACK OF PERSONAL...

JT: Dude, I don't trust our government to raise a flag, much less my children.

BluJayLax: Neither do I, but SOOOO many people want regulations and ratings so they don't...

StruckingFuggle: "Too bad, cause the government of course has no fucking idea how to properly...

BluJayLax: I.E., Rick Santorum??? I'm straight and you're a homo, nyahh!!!! Tookie...

Tophat665: Yeah, putting him in office is a pretty bad way to start. //Playlist: Sesame...

JT: Regardless of WHAT the kids said (talking out loud during a classroom...

Brute: "I still find it completely offensive that they were not given any rights to...

Gabu: "The boys said the agents asked questions such as, 'Are you a terrorist?'" ...

Tophat665: Oh Tecumseh! Why hast thou forsaken us?

Posted by Tigerhawk71 from Planet Earth on May. 13, 2003 21:43

Insane.

Posted by Waterwitch from Amherst, MA, USA on May. 16, 2003 09:31

Right, let's look at this logically. 1. As for post-Columbine concerns, statistically, how many kids are SO disturbed as to SERIOUSLY, and with intent to carry it out, devise a plan to kill anyone? Some might joke about it, but few indeed would have the ...insanity to implement it. Also there's the little matter of resources. What high school student has the contacts, let alone the funds required to kill any high-profile politician?Even fewer. Is it, therefore, likely that comments made in idle talk were meant seriously? Doubtful in the extreme. Now, on the human level, the Secret Service is an organization of ADULTS, accustomed to dealing with criminals and terrorists who are ADULTS. They logically would have the skills requisite to mentally, physically or emotionally break such an adult. Employing even a fraction of these skills on any child, no matter how deranged, has to be like shooting fish in a barrel. I'm keeping those kids in my Artifical Prayer Substitute (tm). It's an awful lot to recover from.

Posted by Pansy Bedwetter on May. 19, 2003 08:21

This is chilling