Nicklas Johnson · morons.org - Zero Intelligence Claims Another Victim

Morons in the News: Zero Intelligence Claims Another Victim

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The expulsion for a year of a high school student has been upheld. Her crime? She had some Advil.
Posted by spatula on Dec. 08, 2003 09:32 UTC
37 comments from readers. Join the discussion!

A so-called "zero tolerance" policy has claimed another victim, showing once again that such policies would be better named "zero intelligence" policies. High school sophomore Amanda Stiles's expulsion has been upheld on appeal by her mother, Kelly Herpin by the Bossier Parish School Board committee.

What horrible offense did Amanda commit on the Parkway High campus? She had some Advil in her possession. An over-the-counter pain killer redily available in any drug store, department store or supermarket. One need not be over 18 to purchase Advil.

Superintendent Ken Kruithof said the expulsion was upheld to maintain compliance with the school system's "zero tolerance" drug policy, which requires a one-year expulsion, though another school board member said that's hogwash and quoted the policy as saying, "After an investigation and a hearing then, if necessary, punishment is administered. It could be no punishment," according to Bossier schools student services director Betty McCauley.

Stiles kept Advil in her purse for her frequent headaches.

---Nick

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Posted by PrincessBethany from Mars on Dec. 08, 2003 10:09

Zero tolerance at my middle school meant= you were not allowed to bring anything in glass bottles (Frappucino was not allowed). Anything sharper than a butter knife was considered a weapon. You had to let the office hold your medication- even if it was just tylenol- then go down to the office and get it when you needed it *if* your teacher would let you. I got to the point where I would carry tic-tacs around in my purse, and dig 'em out every time an administrator stopped me for 'carrying medications'. I think the only reason I never got suspended is because the school board had incurred the wrath of my mother and nobody but NOBODY wanted to piss HER off.

Posted by jr5593 from Kansas (blargh) on Dec. 08, 2003 10:15

When I was in school we had a similar policy. We were allowed to carry over the counter meds if we brought a signed note from our parents that was kept on file in the nurse's office. Perscription meds were kept under lock and key by the nurse. I don't recall any problems with the policy that my district used and if you were caught with over the counter meds without a note they would just confiscate them and call your parents.

These people are idiots.

Posted by Pansy Bedwetter on Dec. 08, 2003 10:37

I bet she was an advil junkie... or even worse, maybe she was a pusher.

Posted by Pansy Bedwetter on Dec. 08, 2003 10:52

Ah, but as we all know, Advil is a well-known 'gateway' drug. Advil today, crack tomorrow.

Slipshod: Advil -> Motrin -> Vicodin -> Oxycontin ...

maxintosh: This is really picky, but Advil *is* Motrin. They're both Ibuprofen.

Slipshod: Yes, but prescription Motrin is larger doses. (800mg)

Momom: Actually in his youth he would most likely have only had aspirin. So lets blame...

Slipshod: Heeeeeey... I think you're onto something there. Both Tobacco and...

Posted by Smeg from Western Washington on Dec. 08, 2003 11:04

Again I ask, why not just publicly burn her at the stake?

Shadowen: Because then she would smoke, and we can't remind the kids of doobies.

Posted by Luminian Chronicle on Dec. 08, 2003 11:10

A more reasonable alternative would have been to confiscate the medicine and let the office hold it for her to use while in school. Expulsion is ludicrous.

Posted by Shadowen from West Nowhere, MB on Dec. 08, 2003 11:11

Man, "zero tolerance" would cause a fucking riot at my old high school. So many kids smoke just off school grounds, and carry (and trade, and sell) cigarettes on school grounds...

milkey luchra: sounds like prison to me.

Posted by Lois Carmen De Nominator from Milwaukee, WI on Dec. 08, 2003 11:27

Another story from Louisiana. It seems they have more than their share of stupidity when it comes to running their schools. I wonder how they feel about aspirin.

On an unrelated note, I have been reading this site for about a year and just recently began posting as well. I was looking around but can find very little information about the webmaster/mistress. I take it the site is administered by Spatula, but there is little information about him/her/them to be found on the site. Any hints? It's just that I've found the site to be entertaining and informative and being naturally the curious sort I want to know a little bit about who runs the joint.

Brie: All I know is that Spatula is a blonde guy named Nick who lives in the San...

brie: He's also gay, and has nice eyebrows. But that's just about all I know.

St Matthew: He also likes to ride his bike, especially for charity, and he's Libertarian. I...

spatula: Correct on all counts all down the thread! Though the eyebrow thing is...

splorp!: They forgot the Dr. Who fetish. splorp! Evil Bastard

spatula: It's not so much a fetish as it is an obsession. ;-)

psychojosh13: are you suggesting that if dr who offered himself to you, you wouldn't take him...

splorp!: It probably depends on which Dr Who it is. splorp! Evil Bastard

dockboy: Cats! Don't forget the cats!

natax: or the nice legs toned by ample bicycle exercise.

Posted by SomeGuy52 from Michigan on Dec. 08, 2003 11:47

What really gets me is the line near the end which says, "Students caught smoking usually are suspended."

I'm assuming most sophomores aren't old enough to legally be smoking cigarettes. They will suspend you for breaking the law, but expel you for carrying around something you can legally buy at a supermarket.

Shadowen: AS I mentioned above. Most students, as long as they don't actually smoke on...

anthacker5: Please, at my school they don't even suspend people. I've seen people buying...

Posted by Bumba from Wakumba on Dec. 08, 2003 14:48

This is outrageous. Something out to be done. Let's collect the names and addresses of those responsible, publish them in order to to criticize, ridicule and hound them from office. Let's destroy their lives!

spatula: 5003@tc1.bossier.k12.la.us is Ken Kruithof's email address.

Lois Carmen De Nominator: oooh! That's mean. I like it.

Posted by Spishak from Jigoku on Dec. 08, 2003 16:33

I understand about that girl having Advil for headaches. I used to get terrible ones frequently, so I carried around medicine for that and allergies in school as well. I also had nail-clippers handy (*gasp* deadly weapon!) and would take them out anytime I needed; no one cared.

Spishak: One more question on this subject: How many people have to be hospitalized or...

Posted by ChrisGranger from Canada on Dec. 08, 2003 20:25

This is absurd. Can someone please explain to me what is wrong with having over-the-counter headache medication in your possession on school grounds? This is an offense that can result in expulsion? Glad they've got their priorities straight. Clearly, keeping evil drugstore medications out of the nation's schools is much more important than, oh, actually teaching kids.

(Needless to say, dealing with idiots like this would give me frequent headaches too. Pass the Advil.)

Reynard: We would...but then we'd have to expel you...

Posted by Augure3VI from Richland on Dec. 09, 2003 05:00

Damnit, they did the girl a favour. Maybe she can take advantage of this situation and go to a better school, perhaps a quality private school after she and her parents sues them. One other incident involved a boy that gave a girl his asthma medication when she was wheezing. He too faced suspention. Ever seen Pump Up The Volume? There's an example of a school with a "No Tolerance Policy". And remember, a no tolerance policy was in force during the Dark Ages and the Nazi era. I'm glad I'm out of highschool, I have no faith in our education in this nation.

Posted by JT from NoVA for now on Dec. 10, 2003 10:37

Hmmmm.

And folks in the deep South wonder why the rest of the country think we are all a bunch of idiots.

Let's review the lessons taught by Louisiana schools this week:

- mentioning the word gay requires disciplinary action and humiliation

- carrying an over-the-counter pain medication is the equivalent of selling dope

Morons.

I don't even have a playlist entry in my head for this one.

I just thank heaven that my kids will never be "educated" in a Louisiana school.