Nicklas Johnson · morons.org - My Short Interview with a Dane

Editorial: My Short Interview with a Dane

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This morning I interviewed a Dane to find out if society in Denmark had completely collapsed as a result of that country's long-time efforts to provide equality for gays and lesbians...
Posted by spatula on Feb. 25, 2004 09:37 UTC
59 comments from readers. Join the discussion!

This morning on IRC I went looking for someone from Denmark. Denmark was the first country in the world to begin recognizing same-sex partnerships back in 1989, so I figured if the predictions of the downfall of society being made in this country were true, they'd have noticed something in Denmark by now.

What follows is my discussion with this fellow from Denmark. The conversation is real and took place this morning around 9 AM PST.

Q: so back in 1989 Denmark started recognizing same-sex partnerships and has been expanding the benefits over time; in this country, people say that to do this would bring about the destruction of society so I was just curious to see if society in Denmark had been destroyed

A: not yet ;)

Q: is there any chaos?

A: well we have alot of sweedes comming here to get drunk .. but apart from that no..

Q: hmm. how about locusts or other plagues?

A: no i havent notised anything

Q: have you heard of any individual families being destroyed?

A: yes, a few but not related to same-sex partnerships

Q: so is it safe to say that state recognition of same-sex partnerships hasn't had any discernable negative impact on society in Denmark at all?

A:yes in my opinion

So there you have it. Civilization in Denmark has not collapsed, and drunken Swedes have a more noticable impact on society than recognition of same-sex partnerships. In 15 years, not so much as a locust has visited Denmark as a result of that country's efforts to treat gays and lesbians equally.

---Nick

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Posted by skeptical technocrat from Nevada on Feb. 25, 2004 09:42

Um, well, drunken Swedes can be mistaken for locusts in suitable cocentrations...

Posted by arniskido from South Dakota on Feb. 25, 2004 09:50

I wonder. I read that there has been an increase in STD's and unwed mothers. Could the drucken Swedes be a cause of this?

Forget same-sex-marriage, lets go after the swedes (drunk or not).

DoctorMelkor: Well, one thing at least is certain: The same-sex marriages are not responsible...

Pansy Bedwetter: cannibal!

Posted by Slipshod from San Jose, CA on Feb. 25, 2004 10:02

On an entirely unrelated note...

Does anybody else think that the "Illuminations" ad looks like a collection of glowing, squat, uncircumcised phaluses? It's the first thing that occurs to me every time I see it.

Heh. Drunken Sweedes.

Lord_Nougat: I think it's just kind of a Rorschach test kind of thing in this case. One sees...

Slipshod: Heh. It would look like big bewbies to me if that were the case. ...

Lord_Nougat: Lol. We are TEH OLD!

Slipshod: No kidding. My 12yr old nephew doesn't know what a BBS is.

JT: I am so old now I dont think I even remember BEING 12 years old.

Slipshod: I have to use external markers to remember what's when. Good and...

JT: I think I have six or seven years on you...

Slipshod: That's alright, I'm not in a hurry to catchup. :)

Posted by Poofter on Feb. 25, 2004 10:11

Now, if you had done a fictional interview....along the lines of FOTF...

THAT would have been good.

Posted by Poofter on Feb. 25, 2004 10:11

Now, if you had done a fictional interview....along the lines of FOTF...

THAT would have been better.

spatula: Yeah, I guess I'm just not as experienced at lying as those guys. Felt I needed...

BluJayLax: Rob - Hey, Satch. How was your dog group? And who were you just talking to? New...

Poofter: Ooops. My apologies for that double posting. No idea what happened.

Posted by Aeryl from Lou a vul, KY on Feb. 25, 2004 10:35

Wh-Wh-What??? Well that's just because those Danes are heathens anyway, but we in America are Kristian, and God Loves This Country and Blesses This Country and if we let this god hating homos get married then GAWD will surely strike us down. Was that too much

Posted by Aeryl from Lou a vul, KY on Feb. 25, 2004 10:37

Hey, while you're at it, can you find someone from Amsterdam and find out how the legalization of marijuana denigrated (or not) society

spatula: I'll ask. I know a few people there. Also, they have same-sex marriages there...

JT: [pedantic mode] Marijuana is actually not "legal" in The Netherlands. It has...

PrincessBethany: ::Rolls eyes:: What-ev-er.

JT: :P

meptik: Yup. It's a rather stupid system, but it works reasonably well. Well, most of...

Posted by DEMachina on Feb. 25, 2004 10:54

Am I the only one who thought about the "Berzerker" song from Clerks when he talked about drunken Swedes?

It would be interesting to try to get a little more detail about the more subtle changes (if any) just for curiosity's sake.

Posted by swan from USA on Feb. 25, 2004 11:01

The only thing that can destroy a whole family is genocide.

JT: And legislation. Because it certainly appears to my eyes that W administration...

Possibly a Bedwetter, Not a Pansy: It's so sad when a family is torn apart by something as simple as a pack of...

Lord_Nougat: It's an American™ tradition!

JT: Hey, what are the keystroke commands for making that cool trademark symbol? :-)

Lord_Nougat: an ampersand & then "trade" then ; all in a row without spaces or quotation...

JT: thanks

Posted by Pansy Bedwetter on Feb. 25, 2004 11:33

No to pick nits...

but that was about as scientific as the methods your ideological opposition uses to prove THEIR points.

Not saying I disagree with your position in the least (actually, I totally agree with your position)... but saying or even thinking that you've proven ANY point based upon one, isolated "interview" on IRC is just beyond silly...

especially for a site that prides itself in pointing out other people's stupidity.

spatula: It's meant to be funny. Lighten up for Gorthak's sake. Honestly.

BluJayLax: Not only is it meant as fun, but at least its a real interview as opposed to...

spatula: Even the typos are real.

Bluto Hedgehog1: PB, You beat me to the punch. This interview is interesting anecdotally but as...

spatula: IT IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY. IT IS HUMOR. LIGHTEN UP.

Bluto Hedgehog1: And how the heck are we supposed to figure that out? Is there some missing...

spatula: If the question about locusts didn't tip you off, I'm afraid I can't help you.

Frankie: "And how the heck are we supposed to figure that out? Erm, perhaps by thinking...

GWTPict: It's what's known as anecdotal evidence. Acceptable research methodology in...

spatula: This of course flows from the incorrect assumption that I'm trying to prove...

GWTPict: No assumptions on my part, I'm just nit picking. It's the ape in me coming out.

A dane: Being a Dane myself - heterosexual even - and insofar as a I know another few...

Posted by jwfoise from Ohio on Feb. 25, 2004 13:32

Yeah, but what was the last nation that Denmark invaded? You see, you allow these gay marriages and you won't be able to even beat up Iraq!

Irish Bastard: Survey says: The First War of Schleswig, 1849, against the duchies of...

Confused: Over 150 years. Yup, those Danes have certainly gotten weak lately.

A dane: Well, we're 5.2 million people. What can we do? The war in 1849 was more or...

Posted by Adrian on Feb. 25, 2004 15:32

Thumbs up, very funny. But the fundies would spin this to be gay drunken Swedes that are causing all the chaos in Denmark.

Here's a good article that gives the facts about the state of marriage in Scandinavia:

Are Gays Wrecking Marriage in Scandinavia?

Aeryl: That's been here before, I think, or was it somewhere else. Well, I read it.

Posted by Shadowen from Winterpeg, Manisnowba on Feb. 25, 2004 19:20

Ah, drunken Swedes. The modern unwashed barbarian hordes. They give the phrase "barbarian hordes" a bad name, really.

GWTPict: That would be because they are viking hordes, passing themselves off as...

Posted by Gabu from Victoria, BC on Feb. 25, 2004 21:38

No, you see, the influence of the evildoers who engage in gay marriages induced the Swedes to come to Denmark and get drunk and cause chaos! The drunken Swedes are the angels with flaming swords in prophecy! They will wreak havoc among the sinners! Repent, for the end of times is here at last!

Erm, yes, I need to cut back on caffiene.

Posted by Reynard on Feb. 26, 2004 24:58

*sarcasm mode on*

oh eek. oh help. we must pass an anti-gay-marriage amendment or we'll be invaded by drunken swedes. (or locusts...)

*sarcasm mode off*

small bored cat: drunken locusts? shit, get to the shelter!

BluJayLax: We've already been invaded by drunken Swedes. He's a nice enough guy, but...

Posted by JT from NoVA for now on Feb. 26, 2004 07:08

On a sort-of related topic, I have found on IRC chat that Europeans in general, and Danes, Swedes, Dutch and Norwegians in particular, just flat out have better manners when chatting on line.

One of the things I really enjoy about the Internet is that it gives me an opportunity to talk with people from all around the world, giving me glimpses into their culture. Since I have not had the opportunity to do anywhere near the amount of travel that I would like to (not even within our own borders, although I think I have now been to 48 of the 50 states), I think this is one seriously great advantage of living in the third millenium.

Plus, I get to find out right from individuals how our society and attitudes differ from the rest of the "civilized" world.