Nicklas Johnson · morons.org - Swaggart Says He'll Murder Gays and Deceive God

Morons in the News: Swaggart Says He'll Murder Gays and Deceive God

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Overheard in SF: Heard inbetween the rabbit squeezing and the carrot munching

Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart says that if a gay man looks at him the wrong way, he will kill the gay man and "tell God he died"...
Posted by spatula on Sep. 20, 2004 08:51 UTC
47 comments from readers. Join the discussion!

Judging by his appearance, I don't really think Jimmy Swaggart has much to worry himself about this, but he told his audience in New Orleans:

I'm trying to find the correct name for it ... this utter absolute, asinine, idiotic stupidity of men marrying men. ... I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I'm gonna be blunt and plain; if one ever looks at me like that, I'm gonna kill him and tell God he died.

I thought surely this had to be made-up. Nobody could be that willfully stupid, right? I'm sorry to say that it's absolutely true. AmericaBlog has a link to a video of Swaggart's sermon (skip to around 36:30) and reminds us that Swaggart doesn't mind New Orleans hookers looking at him "like that." The rotten.com library has more information about Swaggart's lurid past.

The broadcast drew complaints from Canadian viewers and Toronto-based multicultural station Omni-1 has apologized for airing Swaggarts incendiary remarks. Omni 1 spokesperson Sandy Zwyer said the remarks were a "serious breach" of regulations.

Swaggart's audience had no complaint, however, and met his remarks with applause.

You can reach the Jimmy Swaggart ministries at 225-768-7000 or info@jsm.org if you have theological questions about the biblical justification for murdering because someone looks at you "like that" and then lying to God about the murder. You might talk to them about Genesis 4:8-12, Leviticus 19:11 (you know how much the fundamentalists LOVE Leviticus), Job 13:8-10, Mark 7:21-23, Galatians 6:7, Exodus 20:13, Matthew 5:21-22, James 5:5-6, 2 Chronicles 24:22, and Matthew 21:34-45.

---Nick

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Posted by peter from Chicago on Sep. 20, 2004 09:05

Why would anyone want to reach the Swaggart ministries? Yikes.

Posted by Pansy Bedwetter on Sep. 20, 2004 09:23

Fundamentalists don't even understand Leviticus. It's not even from their bible. Not that they understand Judaism either, and not that Judaism tries to cram its beliefs down other people's throats or even condemns homosexuality for the most part.

Limeyfellow: Isn't that the truth. A verse about having ritualistic sex between men in the...

Posted by Amry from Dublin on Sep. 20, 2004 09:28

He's going to lie to God? How?

Tophat665: Omniscience is really more of a guidline than a rule, then, isn't it.

mwad: once you move that far up the jebus food chain, then you''ll know too!

Posted by Tophat665 from NoVA on Sep. 20, 2004 09:29

Mr. Swaggart, exactly what part of "Thou shalt not kill" is giving you trouble here?

//playlist: Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Jim

satanmat: as well as thou shalt not lie...

Reynard: Or "Thou shalt not commit adultery"...

Tophat665: Actually, my favorite commandment is "Mind Thine Own Business", but that didn't...

LawDude537: The "not kill" part, because God was ready to kill all the Israelis before he...

sqlrob: Bad Translation. I believe the proper one is "Thou shalt not commit murder"

Poofter: Righteous killing is NOT murder.

Pansy Bedwetter: Killing is against the law. Period. If you agree with killing, then go to a...

Tophat665: Not entirely true. We still legally kill people when they piss us off too...

psychojosh13: lack of deterrence or not, people who wilfully take the lives of innocents...

mwad: "people who wilfully take the lives of innocents deserve to die. rapists as...

Random Guest: If nothing else, it'd be a few inches lower from walking bowlegged all the...

GWTPict: Invading third world countries tends to rack up the body count too. Like the...

Bedsy Panwetter: Not exactly, see there's thing thing called "self defense" which means, if...

GWTPict: Personally I've always taken 'being looked at that way' as a compliment, if...

Posted by kelemvor from UK on Sep. 20, 2004 09:36

When was the last time this "person" had his mental health checked out?
It's at times like this that I'm glad my dad's not online - he'd fly over and cause a scene...

Posted by 42 on Sep. 20, 2004 09:47

Maybe Jack Chick could make Swaggart the hero of one of his tracts?

Posted by CHUCKY from NEW ENGLAND on Sep. 20, 2004 10:05

One of these televangelists has apparrently had authorization to include addendums to the ten commandments: This comes under the heading of "THE KILLING LOOKS" lost books of the Bible just recently unearthed. We're always tht LAST to get the word. The evangelical movement seem to have the first track on everything, don't they?

1] If thou are looked upon "LIKE THAT" you shall

2[ KILL the looker.

3] Lie to the Lord thy God of what thou has done.

More 'addendums' will be forthcoming as they are translated.

As long as "THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO" it must be OK!

Unless this DIRTBAG's statement itself is 'ABSOLUTELY ASININE, IDIOTIC and STUPID?'

I don't think Jimmy should be walking around town anymore without extra security from now on.

Posted by Weezil on Sep. 20, 2004 10:33

More proof that it's not the marriage construct that bothers fundies, it's gay sex that really gets their goat. Then again most don't have problems with goats...

Posted by holbie from springfield, missouri on Sep. 20, 2004 11:35

WTF? It's crap like this that pushes many gay people from all churches.

Posted by Kenster999 on Sep. 20, 2004 11:36

I love how he's going to "tell God he died." As if God doesn't already know the truth, and is waiting to get his information from Jimmy Swaggart. This really shows where Swaggart thinks he stands in the rank of things.

psychojosh13: i didn't actually see it as him saying he would lie to god, just that he would...

Kenster999: Yeah, maybe. :) I still thought he made it sound like he was the one that God...

Robguy: http://www.planetout.com/news/article.html?date=2004/09/20/3 They liked your...

Kenster999: I AM THE KING OF ALL MEDIA!!!!!! (Thanks for the link. How odd, and enjoyable.)

Posted by spatula from the morons.org lair on Sep. 20, 2004 12:05

Does anyone else think the lady doth protest too much? I wager Swaggart's had a gay sex experience some time in the recent past.

CHUCKY: Gee! Would you suppose that phrase, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,"...

Robguy: For the religious conservative, discreet anonymous man-on-man action is fine...

Posted by shocked on Sep. 20, 2004 13:26

OK, but the police might have other ideas.

Posted by XXX-Patriot from Washington, DC on Sep. 20, 2004 13:44

This coming from a guy who preached 'Thall shall not commit ADULTERY' and came out, tearfully, to his congregation about his 'weakness' - forgive me for I have sinned.

Perhaps, homophobia and murder are weaknesses of his as well?

Posted by Dante on Sep. 20, 2004 18:35

I'm trying to find the correct name for it ... this utter absolute, asinine, idiotic stupidity of men marrying men. ... I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. ------

Oh Jimmy, don't give up hope. Keep searching and someday, someday maybe you will find that you want to marry. ;P

Posted by Aeryl from Lou a vul, KY on Sep. 20, 2004 18:48

I;m just waiting for a gay guy to find Swaggart, and look at him "that way"....with a witness:)

Posted by Termie from Canada on Sep. 20, 2004 19:43

Why all the hostility Jimmy?

For that matter what makes you think you're THAT attractive.... unless mayhap you had a bad experience with one of those hookers. Maybe one of them had more than advertised...?

Just pondering

Posted by Mexile... on Sep. 20, 2004 20:22

... Hell, if I ever was tempted to look at Jimmy Swaggert "that way", I'd kill MYSELF(though I'd trust in HE WHO MUST BE OBEYED's infinite mercy and wisdom and fess up to it)

Posted by Pansy Bedwetter on Sep. 20, 2004 21:27

Check out the bad taste item over at Jesus' General for their take on this matter. I guess I have juvenile taste in humor. :)

Reynard: Got Link?

Posted by Dr. Sleaze from Subcutaneous Lair on Sep. 20, 2004 21:33

Well, ain't that "Christian"...

Its good to know that laws of God(tm) and the nature of God(tm) are nEGOtiable for Mr. Swaggart.

Obviously he must be suffering from a cronic case of R-CIS (recto-cranial inversion syndrome).

Posted by TikiGod666 from Phoenix on Sep. 21, 2004 06:53

Well there's Biblical precedent for his proposed action: Cain I believe?

"Am I my brother's keeper?"

Posted by Parksoft on Sep. 21, 2004 13:26

So.... being a "christian" minister that gets caught with a hooker, lies about it, breaks down on national TV in a confession to the whole thing....

Is not as bad as being gay? I'll take being gay over being a lying, cheating, deceiving, backstabbing, SOB any day.

I move that we just shoot Swaggart, put him out of our misery, and avoid the next rediculous story involving him in the future - because YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!

Posted by microbe on Sep. 21, 2004 13:49

Rev. Swaggert has one hell of a homophobic mean streak that makes Jerry Fallwell look more like Jerry Lewis or this preacher has some issues. Why you ask? Well according to rotten.com's biographical summary of Swaggert's sexcapades...he's more horny than a pervert! And to rabid Fundementalists such as he,logic goes a little some like this: "Gays are perverts while hypocritical ministers who solicits hookers behind his wife's back are somehow exempt from the rule." He must've had some Gay affairs a while back or he wouldn't have this desire to kill a Gay man that looks at him the wrong way. According to "Fundie Logic" this would make him a "prevert" and Fundementalist Christian ministers can't be perverts. Thus, Swaggert has some issues and needs a psychologist or change his tune.

Posted by deusdiabolus on Sep. 25, 2004 24:11

What else would you expect from the cousin of a man who married his own cousin?