Sesame Street's Cookie Monster is suing the Public Broadcasting Service for violation of a contract, and defamation of character. "When I signed onto this show, They wanted a monster....who likes cookies! And I happen to love cookies! The Contract specificicly says under Article II, section 3, Sentence C: "The undersigned shall not come within 10 yards of any food without his/her permission with the exception of cookies! It was my favorite sentence! That's where C is for Cookie came from!" Said C.M in a press release.
Recently, PBS ordered Cookie Monster to consume fruits and vegetables, which not only violates his contract, he contends, but makes him look like a "Fruting health nut!"
To this end, PBS has responded with this statement:
Cookie Monster is nothing more then our puppet...literally. Under Article III, Section 1 Paragraph A Sentence F Sub-plank A, We are authorized to do anything to our characters to fit the needs of the government, who happens to want fruits...just not the gay ones.PBS contends that the contract has not been violated, and Cookie Monster has no rights, he being nothing more then a cloth.
Organizations around the nation are holding oven vigils serving free cookies to various passers-by in hopes it will persuade PBS to return the real cookie monster. Petitions are rumored to be circulating advocating for Nestle and Mrs. Fields to fund Cookie Monster's fight for his real character. "I pray to the cookie God Famous Amos for the safe return of my cookies!" said Monster. "We must not let those pro-fruiters win and cause harm to our glorious nation! C is for character, and I have plenty of it!
** This is in response to PBS's horrific conversion of cookie Monster to a fruit eater. For more information, click here. Oh how I will despise this season if what that article says is true...
