Lame duck President Bush told reporters on Monday that he believes so-called "intelligent design" as the origin of life should be taught in public schools. "Intelligent Design Theory" is the newest buzzword for theological creationism; it is an attempt to make the idea sound credible by molding it into words that sound scientific. A true scientific theory must lead to observable or measurable consequences. It must be testable. Intelligent Design "theorists" offer no observable or measureable consequences to the idea, nor predictions, nor tests which could confirm or refute the "theory."

Nonetheless, when asked about the teaching of Intelligent Design "Theory" as an explanation for the origin of life, Bush replied, "I think that part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought. You're asking me whether or not people ought to be exposed to different ideas, the answer is yes."

Now Bush is throwing a rather obvious bone to the religious right-wing extremists who make up his base, but for the sake of argument, I'd like to demonstrate the flaw in his "reasoning" which might sound sane at first glance to someone without the time to really think about it.

It's difficult to argue against the notion that where several theories exist to explain phenomena, students should be presented with the multiple points of view, even if they're differing. But it's laughable to suggest that every conceivable point of view belongs in a classroom. If this were the case, you'd have to explain the origin of life with all of the following:

  • The blood of the monster Tiamat's husband, Kinqu, slain by Marduk created life on earth (the earth itself being created by the remains of Tiamat).
  • The earth, sky, and all life on the planet came from the egg of the god Pangu and the god himself.
  • Esaugetuh Emissee created mankind from clay on a hill
  • The earth and life are a byproduct of the masturbation of Atum.
  • The universe is governed by Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva, with Brahma being the creator.
  • In the beginning, the Flying Spaghetti Monster created a mountain, trees, and a midget.
  • "Odin and his brothers used Ymir's body to create the universe."
  • The Great Green Arkleseizure sneezed the universe into existence (beware the coming of the great white handkerchief)
  • The ejection of fuel from a damaged engine on the spacecraft Terminus created the universe
Now these examples are obviously a bit silly in the context of legitimate scientific explanations for the origin of life that should be taught in school as though they were science. Yet, Intelligent Design "Theory" is no more scientific than Atum's self-pollution.

When presenting multiple views on the subject of the origin of species and the origin and evolution of life on this planet, these views must at least fit the criteria of scientific theory if they're taught in a science class. By all means, talk about various creation myths in an ancient literature or comparative religion class... but don't pretend that "Intelligent Design" is anything more than a repackaging of standard Christian creation myth. It is not science.

---Nick

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