James Hewitt, Princess Diana's former lover, very nearly lost his penis in a strange window-related accident. He did suffer a gash from his knee to his upper thigh requiring 27 stitches when he fell through a plate-glass window at his vacation home in Spain. Ouch.

Vandale Amos Willis has apologized for spreading feces throughout a court room during his trial on drug charges.

A judge has found 16-year-old Levi Kielsmeier guilty of "first-degree arson, first-degree burglary, second-degree criminal mischief, assault while participating in a felony and trespassing." Kielsmeier and other teenagers had entered the home of Tom Sterns, a mentally handicapped man, three times on June 25 and "duct taped Sterns arms, rubbed feces on his head and neck, pinched his breasts, forced him to drink mouthwash and attempted to spray insecticide in his eyes" according to the Charles City Press. The teens also "defecated and urinated in the home, damaged floors by setting fires and operating a lawn mower, broke windows and ruined a recently-purchased stove."

---Nick

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