Social Security

It turns out McCain hates Social Security:

"Americans have got to understand that. Americans have got to understand that we are paying present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today. And that's a disgrace. It's an absolute disgrace and it's got to be fixed."

You read that right. He called it a disgrace that Social Security is based on that grand intergenerational bargain that has worked so wonderfully for decades. Apparently McCain thinks the idea of taking care of our elderly who can no longer take care of themselves is just disgraceful. I guess John McCain would prefer that we send our elderly out into the wilderness to die when they can no longer work. After all, the idea that we should help them to live out their lives with dignity is such a disgrace.

The Economy

McCain's chief economics advisor Phil Gramm thinks you're a whiner. And your mother. She's a whiner too. In fact, we're a nation of whiners whining about the economy. The tanking DOW, the soaring price of oil, the housing crisis, all of that is just in your head. It's only a psychological recession and if you all stopped whining about it we'd be fine.

McCain has since said Phil Gramm doesn't speak for him. If that's the case, why is he still McCain's chief economics advisor? If I didn't agree with my chief economics advisor on the most central issue of the economy, whether or not it sucks, I would fire him and get a new one. Particularly if he went around calling me a whiner. Incidentally, Obama's response is fantastic and hilarious.

Iran

McCain thinks joking about killing Iranian civilians is funny. Still.

-David Kleppinger, Morons.org Legislative Analyst